Why do successful men disgrace themselves? Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, Louis C K.? I blame Elon Musk. I think it's because we haven't perfected space travel.

If you said, "Okay, we've got a choice for you... you can travel on a space shuttle comfortably to the moons of Saturn. It's one and a half billion kilometres away but don't worry we can get you there in 5 minutes. There will be Starbucks. You will orbit all 62 moons. You will see hydrocarbon lakes and liquid methane rivers; then we'll shoot you to the sun and fly you through a solar flare while listening to Chopin's Nocturne Opus 9 and you will see the creation of an aurora. Or, you can masterbate in front of an actress who's looking for work."

Elon Musk needs to get it together before we lose more politicians and comedians.


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